Wednesday, June 5, 2019

2019 NYU Rory Meyers College of Nursing Commencement Speech

Eileen Sullivan Marx and Afaf Meleis
Thank you Dean Eileen Sullivan Marx and thank you President Hamilton for your unwavering support of nursing.

Congratulations 2019 Graduates! I am truly honored to be here, not only because your dean, a dear friend, is one of the best in the country, not only because I am receiving the Helen Manzer Award, and not only because I consider your faculty members among the top knowledge producers in the country. I am truly honored to be here as a witness and a participant in celebrating this important milestone in the lives of the 2019 graduates.

You are graduating at an incredibly remarkable point in our history. While there is turmoil in the world affecting our core democratic values, and while we are living through global unrest and major demographic shifts, we are also at a critical junction in nursing’s history and future that provides the platform for us/for you to impact social and health policy changes.

You are graduating at a time when the world is recognizing and acknowledging that nurses have a vital role to play in achieving universal health care, in moving us closer to gender and cultural equities, and in improving economies by making populations healthier. This is the platform created by the “Nursing Now” campaign, which prompted the World Health Organization to declare next year, 2020, The Year of the Nurse globally. The world is ready for empowered, well-educated nurses to have a voice in the wellbeing of populations - ready for nurses to lead the way.

You are among those who received the best education and you are empowered. Because of that, I will assume you will want to have a voice when it comes to sexual harassment, trafficking, and work incivilities – and you will have a desire to insure health care is compassionate and humanistic, and that health care is the right of every human being. I will assume you will want to have a voice of intolerance for colonialism in all its forms, and against racism, sexism, homophobia and toxic environments. If that is the voice you want to cultivate, if you want to make a difference, if you want to impact social and health policies, and if you want to impact your institution’s policies, then I suggest you plan a future based on four guideposts for your career.

These four guideposts/goals all begin with the letter “C”, including a “C” to carve out and to create a captivating career. And, I promise not to mention the “C” in collusion! Instead, I hope you remember these 4 C’s, in credibility, coaching, collaboration, and comfort zones.

I will begin with credibility. While you already received a credible education, it is now imperative that you build your own individual platform for credibility, from which you can function up to your full potential, armed with evidence and experience. No job and no role is too small to give it your all. Strive for excellence in each and in all. Do not compromise. Do not take short cuts. Credibility in your practice, in your research, in your administration – credibility is developed through adhering to work ethics, integrity, systematic building on your expertise, and being open to continuous learning. Your voice will not be heard and you will not be able to make an impact without earning and demonstrating your credible expertise and accomplishments.

The second important “C” is coaching. Seek mentorship for every role you embark on. Make sure you cultivate relationships with nurturing, inspiring, and informative mentors, mentors who coach you and show you the ropes, open up doors, facilitate relationships, challenge you, provide you with honest evaluation, and coach you on the timing, the tools, and the hows in using your strong, impactful voice. But remember, we also continue to learn a great deal, not only from receiving coaching, but also from coaching others. Be generous in mentoring others.

The third “C” is collaboration. We all know the research findings supporting the powerful results achieved through collaborative and effective teamwork. It leads to more adherence to regimens, less infections, less falls, and on and on with many positive outcomes. But, the collaboration that I am speaking about is cultivating communities that share your value system and goals – collaboration that can help you achieve the changes you want to make happen. Empower yourself by creating collective voices by being part of a community. Find out what organizations you can join in which you can add your voice. For me, over the years, I joined organizations that focused on women’s health, others that focused on nursing knowledge, consortia for global health, as well as local and national chapters of associations for faculty members. These organizations were influenced by my passion for nursing and my compassion for vulnerable populations, and they, in turn, helped amplify and support my voice. It is through collaboration and partnership that we are empowered – they become our power engine.

The fourth “C” involves comfort zones. Know when you become too comfortable in a role or in a job, and be reflective on how to reach out, to grow, to continue to learn, and to get out of your comfort zones. Know how and when to take risks. And know your limitations and blind spots and how to mindfully transcend them. We all have biases, taken for granted implicit assumptions about people, roles, and situations – assumptions that should be questioned and challenged, and should be replaced by new evidence or by having assumptions carefully examined. Find out what makes you uncomfortable. Is it working with those who don’t look like you? Caring for patients from other cultures? Participating in a particular type of research over another? Going to a developing country? Becoming a leader? Or is it becoming a member of a group that is different because of gender, sexual orientation, or religion?

I have learnt a great deal about gender inequity by being in men’s groups, about ethnic inequity by being in multicultural groups, about disciplinary aggressions by being a member of interprofessional teams, and about international inequities by being in multinational organizations. I also learnt how to embrace my own multi-minority statuses, as an immigrant with an accent from a developing country, as a nurse in settings that defer to physicians, as a woman in a world built and run by men, and as a social scientist in academic environments that favor biological and physical scientists. Once I acknowledged my many minority statuses, I displayed and used each as a badge of honor to educate, to advocate, and to change assumptions. But, before I acknowledged and flaunted my marginalized position, I established my own credibility. I found out what is the gold standard in each of my roles and worked on reaching it.

Now I am back full circle in my remarks to you, congratulating you and celebrating your milestone by passing to you the advice I wish I had received at every junction in my own educational journey. To make a difference, to translate your passion for our disincline and your compassion for our patients, and to achieve your goals, it is imperative that you:

  • Establish your own individual credibility, reaching every gold standard and reaching out and up for the stars.
  • Coach and be coached.
  • Cultivate collaboration, finding the power engine that makes your voice a powerhouse.
  • And continue to step out of your comfort zone and take risks.

Congratulations to all the graduates of 2019!

Wednesday, April 10, 2019

I stand on the shoulders of many women - Comments from the 2019 Marin Women's Hall of Fame Induction and Celebration


2019 Marin Women’s Hall of Fame
Women of Distinction Induction and Celebration Dinner
Thursday, March 28, 2019, San Rafael, CA

Recently, I was honored to be inducted into the Marin Women’s Hall of Fame during a gala attended by 450 guests in San Rafael, CA. I am truly humbled to be among an extraordinary group of awardees, who are not only highly accomplished, but who also contribute so much to our community and to the world. We all felt incredibly special following in the footsteps of such great leaders such as Senator Barbara Boxer. Moreover, my introduction by a high school senior, Makena Cusick, was unquestionably the highlight of my evening, as I witnessed her brimming with incredible sophistication, intellect and presence, characteristics of a future leader.

These were my comments upon my induction.

Whenever we receive such an honor, we pause and wonder how we got there? How did I get from Alexandria, Egypt to standing in front of a podium with such a select group? For me it is family, community and friends.

First and foremost, I have an incredible, loving family.

My husband, Mahmoud, my partner for 55 years, supported and enabled me. I will be forever grateful to him. This award is for him, as much as it is for me. Our sons Waleed and Sherief gave us such joy, which energized us and kept us moving forward. Then, they expanded our family through their soul mates, the amazing, loving and accomplished Dr. Deena Emera and Paula Meleis.

I am also here because Marin County was so hospitable and welcoming when we immigrated from Egypt and migrated from Los Angeles - and I hope it continues to be warm and hospitable toward today’s immigrants, legal or not!

Our dear Marin friends continued including us in their lives when we migrated to the East Coast during the past 16 years - and they quickly made sure we reintegrated in Marin when we returned. We are indebted to them for their generosity, love and support.

If our dear friend, Joan Brown, did not invite me to the Executive Women of Marin’s “Wednesday Morning Dialogues,” where I met their president, Margy Eller, also the president of the American Association of University Women (AAUW), she would not have known me or nominated me. I am grateful to her.

I am definitely here because of my passion for supporting nurses’ voices, work, education and research. Nurses - all 20 million of us around the world - are the heart and the soul of the health care system. We have been voted the most trusted professionals for at least the past 10 years.

I am also here because of my compassion for empowering women globally, and positioning their issues front and center. This is no coincidence since 90% of nurses are women and 70 % of family caregivers are women.

I am enabled to be here because I stand on the shoulders of 100’s of women who made it possible for me to act on this passion and compassion.
  • I stand on the shoulders of the many housekeepers, who were immigrants and refugees. They cleaned our house, washed our laundry and freed me to do the work I cared about - and they inspired me with their can-do determination.
  • I stand on the shoulders of the many administrative assistants and chiefs of my offices, who organized me and insured that I was always well prepared for all of my roles - including my global research.
  • I stand here on the shoulders of the many fisherman’s wives in Brazil, Por Día maids in Columbia, nurse assistants in Mexico, immigrant women in California and clerical workers in Egypt, Kuwait and the USA, who entrusted me with narratives about their lives - narratives that included marginalization, oppression, devaluation, violence, trafficking and under compensation - and narratives about resilience and creativity in transcending all obstacles to raise healthy and accomplished children. Their can-do attitudes inspired me.
  • I stand here on the shoulders of 100’s of mentees from all over the world, who taught me how to be a better mentor. They proceeded to exceed my capacity, as they became the best mentors and leaders and they continued to be an important and inspiring part of my life.

Because I stand on so many strong shoulders of so many strong women, I extend my deepest gratitude to them and I accept this award for all of them and on behalf of them.

This is really an award about women supporting women, and about women who continue to make the world a better place to live. What an incredible honor.


Afaf Meleis and her family, friends and mentees at the
2019 Marin Women's Hall of Fame Induction and Celebration